Quotes and Such to Ponder

“Sometimes it’s not about being right. It’s about looking at the situation, recognizing the way your words hurt the other person and apologizing. Sometimes it’s just the way you speak is what hurt the most. Not the point of being right.”

“People get built different. We don’t need to figure it out. We just need to respect it.”

“Do you want to hear the answer? The willingness to listen to the answer is just as important as asking the question.”

On Active Listening: “Super communicators also think about who they’re talking to as much as they’re thinking about what they want to say. They perform actions that prove to the other person that they are listening and are in the conversation to better understand them. The process is called looping for understanding.”

“What’s critical is to understand which kind of conversation you’re having, because if you’re having different kinds of conversations at the same time, you’ll have trouble hearing each other.”

“It’s astonishing how fast someone disregards a person they don’t really like. What a waste of learning that is. Everyone knows something we don’t, we lose our chance to level up as soon as we disregard anyone.”

“Everything heals and grows when it is loved well. People, too.”

“Too often, I hear people asking for respect and kindness in their relationship while insulting their partner in the same sentence. It’s amusing how quickly we become righteous when our partner is at fault, but how slow we can be to take action when we need to improve. Instead of changing our behavior, we skip that step and jump straight to telling our partner how they should behave. If we were as good at self-reflection as we are at criticizing others, our relationships would be significantly different. When you stop trying to change your partner, you finally have the energy to change yourself.”

“Remembering you’re still learning is how you take your power back.”

“I love that feeling when you talk stuff out with someone and you both become aware that neither of you were wrong. You just saw the scenario differently. Talking really should be about seeing things from both perspectives, rather than the need to be right.”

“Do not worry about your contradictions – Persephone is both floral maiden and queen of death. You, too, can be both.”

“If we created a safe space, became more compassionate, understanding and less judgmental then maybe…the world would bloom again. We can’t force people to be authentic by shaming them into not fully understanding who they are. Maybe instead we can help them see their uniqueness and help them embrace themselves gently and lovingly.”

“We cannot expect people to understand us or even WANT to hear us, until we first show them we can hear and understand them.”

“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.”

“If you don’t communicate your boundaries and needs, how can you ever expect *anyone* to respect them – EVEN if they want to? They can’t deliver on what they’re unaware of. A true partner will appreciate and encourage it – and create a safe space for you to do so – and reward you when you do with confidence and validation.”

“Most people in this world are broken and we live in a culture that doesn’t teach emotional regulation or coping mechanisms. Instead, we celebrate stoicism over vulnerability.”

“Expectation without communication will lead to frustration.”

“We don’t have all the answers to life. That’s why we need to stop judging and learn to love one another. We’re not perfect. We’re all trying to learn and make a living here. Be kind.”

“Some people can pen point everything wrong about you, but when it comes to correcting themselves the pen don’t work.”

“Those that despise people will never get the best out of others and themselves.”

“People become attractive over time as you get to know them. Someone who you once felt completely neutral towards can make your stomach do somersaults. It’s not that they were not good looking to begin with, it’s just that things happened which made your conscience ease up and your heart changed. Good character can contribute to how someone perceives you.”

“It’s ok to find some of what someone says helpful, and disregard what doesn’t fit or isn’t correct or aligned.”

“So much of our progress rests on taking accountability. If we can understand as human beings we are fallible, and be quick to admit. New doors can be opened.”

“Repressing your creative expression is one of the most brutal yet commonly accepted forms of self abuse.”

“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.”

“Frustration in relationships usually arises after feeling some level of emotional or physical neglect. When there is mutual love & respect in the relationship, conflict & fighting won’t be about “winning” or feeling right. It will be about wanting to feel heard & respected.”

“Reality is created by the mind. We can change our reality by changing our mind.”

“I am not interested in another’s devaluation of me based on their own insecurities. I know my imperfections more clearly than anyone could ever, but I also know I must love myself despite them. While working to become a better version of me.”

“Anyone who fights with monsters should make sure that he does not in the process become a monster himself. And when you look for a long time into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.”

“Practice the pause. Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause when you’re about to react harshly and you’ll avoid doing and saying things you’ll regret later.”

“To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be. The people they’re too exhausted to be any longer. The people they don’t recognize inside of themselves anymore. The people they grew out of, the people they never ended up growing into. We so badly want the people we love to get their spark back when it burns out; to become speedily found when they are lost. But it is not our job to hold anyone accountable to the people they used to be. It is our job to travel with them between each version and to honor what emerges along the way. Sometimes it will be an even more luminescent flame. Sometimes it will be a flicker that disappears and temporarily floods the room with a perfect and necessary darkness.”

“Contrary to popular beliefs, conflicts in a relationship are healthy as they help to understand the changes and perspectives of the other person. However, sitting on the conflict for days or worse, never addressing the emotions, can lead to frustration and resentment in the relationship.”

“Life can be confusing and painful. Sometimes we just need to be with one another in that confusion and pain, saying: I see you. I hear you. I’m with you. In that presence, there is great love. And perhaps at the root of it all, that’s what we most need.”

“Invalidation of emotions sends the message that the communication was not received. How are you listening to your friends? Are you asking curious questions to better connect?”

“You can be emotionally mature in some aspects & immature in others. You’re still human. You won’t always know what will trigger you until it does. I don’t strive to be perfect because that sounds more harmful than helpful. I strive to improve & feel great when I realize I have.”

“Sometimes the healthiest relationships and the right people make us feel drained, suspicious, uncomfortable, or annoyed because we haven’t healed parts of us that are in conflict with what they bring into our life.

Someone who isn’t used to talking about their feelings may feel overwhelmed by someone who actually shares them. Someone who isn’t used to compliments or words of affirmation may feel annoyed by a person who shared them. When we have enough awareness, we are likely to catch these, but if we don’t we may just assume that the other person is boring, annoying, too nice, too sensitive, too much and so forth. In order to rewire these automatic responses we first have to start with awareness when they show up, identify what story we are telling ourselves about why it feels uncomfortable, explore where we learned this to be true, challenge the story, and allow ourselves to feel the new experience. “

“To interrupt an anxious-avoidant dance in relationship, both must make an effort to shift the energy. The anxious person’s role is to lean out a bit and give space. The avoidant person’s role is to extend and move toward.”

“Even in the healthiest relationships we will still get triggered. Getting triggered is not inherently an issue, it’s how we deal with those triggers that matters. If we react by projected anger and blame at one another, then a container that could otherwise be a sacred space for mutual healing quickly erodes into an unhealthy and unsafe place.”

“Courage doesn’t look the same for me as it does for you. Each path is unique.”

“People think just because you’re not flashy like them that you’re missing out. No, some of us jut value different things.”

“Claiming the moral high ground is rarely a sign of virtue. It’s often a signal of narcissism as it creates a sense of self-righteousness. People who consistently believe they hold superior principles have inflated opinions of their own judgment. Being self-righteous is a barrier to respecting and learning from others.”

“Self-righteousness can blind us to the perspectives and experiences of others. It hinders our ability to respect and learn from them. To truly grow and understand others, we must set aside our self-righteousness and approach interactions with humility and open-mindedness.”

“When you assume you’re on the high ground, you look down on anyone that disagrees with you.”

“None of us understand as much as we think we do. We should all strive to be moral but be humble enough to realize we’re probably doing it wrong.”

“The notion of claiming the moral high ground can also be considered as a reflection of societal values and norms. In this view, individuals asserting moral superiority may not solely be acting from narcissism but also responding to social cues that reward the appearance of virtue. This behavior can be seen as an adaptation to societal expectations where moral posturing becomes a means of navigating social hierarchies and gaining approval.”

“Unprocessed grief and unprocessed trauma can lead us to become hardened to the suffering of others and/or to normalize suffering. Grief & trauma can cause us to disconnect from each other, or when used as a source of understanding, can connect us as we can empathize with someone in pain. Let us find healing so that we do not become indifferent to suffering.”

“Humility is embracing the journey of lifelong learning, recognizing that we are all both students and teachers in the classroom of life.”

“When someone you love gives you feedback, it’s important to try to move towards curiosity and away from defensiveness. Of course, how they bring this feedback forward to you matters but you choose where you take it. Can you consider any feedback about yourself you haven’t been willing to take? Might you notice what you’re trying to protect? Might you see if you can hold yourself with grace and compassion for your humanness and make some space for it? To reflect and explore and see what might open up if you could tolerate it just a bit. Gentle here.”

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.